The biggest lie
The biggest lie
The more she learns about Toh's feelings for her, the guilt in her heart continues to grow. When she saw his reaction to her tale, she sensed his feelings even more. The reason for his rage, it's her. He didn't have to put it into words. He is angry that all of that happened to her, angry that the world has never been kind to her.
This is the first time where somebody's feelings for her are so clear. While she may have had a brief glimpse at the others, Toh's feelings are the first ones she has truly sensed. Ever since they started dating, they have both avoided using the words 'I love you.'
But Sumire had no doubt that Toh would use those very same words tonight. If he says it she will definitely cry, because she still can't say it back. She set up this trip to get to know him better because she feels like she still doesn't truly know him. At least that was the explanation she gave.
However the truth is, she has noticed his feelings for her a long time ago. His feelings are so transparent, anybody can see how fond he is off her. How he treats her differently, and how he looks at her.
The true reason for this trip was for her to confront him about those feelings, and then decide what her own heart wanted. After she hears him say it, perhaps something will change? Perhaps she will finally be able to convey how she feels?
Her thoughts break off sensing somebody behind her. Sumire turned around and sighed.
"Jack." Sumire frowned seeing the ginger haired man. "What are you doing? You're not stalking me are you?"
Jack looked at her horrified. "Me? Stalk you? I value my life, thank you very much."
Sumire resisted the urge to punch him. She needs to remember that she owes him a favour after he ended up getting hurt for her sake. Sumire scanned him up and down. It seems he has recovered from his injuries, if he is walking around like this.
"Then-"
"I found some suspicious leads on that case where the police wants to paint you as the culprit."
Sumire sighed deeply. "In this region?"
Jack nodded. "I went to the Holy knights head quarters to personally tell you and I found out that you took a vacation." He shakes his head. "I had to have them show me that you submitted leave."
"Don't exaggerate. What's wrong with me taking a few days off?"
"Nothing if you were a normal person. But your not. Miss Demon Princess and Aki's human weapon. Since you entered the underworld, you have never taken a vacation. Sure you have had gaps between your jobs when you were dating Nagawa Sano. But you never took a vacation."
Right, she was even doing work when Sano took her to that island on her birthday. Sumire sighed deeply. "Toh is different."
She still doesn't understand how deep her feelings for Toh are. If she can even call it love. But there is no doubt that their relationship is changing. It may have been on a whim or desperation not to lose him that led to her accepting his confession. However, the more time they spend together. The more something in her heart is beginning to stir.
Jack examined her expression and sighed as he handed her an envelope. "I'll confirm the information first. But you can have the data and look it over when you have free time."
"Mm."
"Also." Jack hesitated. "Terashima asked me for that information too."
At the mention of Yuhi's name, her heart beat increased. Even without speaking, her expression betrayed her so easily.
Jack noticed and sighed. "I don't want to interfere in your personal life. I am just your information broker, and you made that clear when you contracted me. But, I just want to say. When Terashima heard that the police were after you, he used his connections to suppress the news."
Sumire didn't say anything.
She already figured it out. She figured it was Yuhi and not Aki who took that action. Aki may take measures to protect her but he also believes in her standing up for herself. He also likes to see how she reacts in desperate situations.
"Did he, say anything about me?"
Jack scanned her expression and nodded. "He asked me to make sure you were doing okay, to see if you were healthy. I think he feels awkward about asking Mamoru-san about it and he didn't want Tachibana to lecture him."
That's exactly like Yuhi.
Is she doing well? She isn't sure anymore.
Ever since she decided to accept Toh's confession, so much has happened. Because of that, it was easy for her to push away the pain she felt from causing Yuhi trouble. She convinced herself that it was truly for the best that they don't talk to each other now. As long as they keep in touch, Yuhi will do something reckless for her sake.
'How wrong was I?' Even if she doesn't speak to him, even if she were to treat him with contempt. He would still take action for her sake.
'He loves me.' Even though he shouldn't, even though she doesn't deserve him.
"I am going to choose Toh." Sumire whispered.
Lie.
Liar.
'You still love Yuhi. Liar.'
Jack sighed but nodded. "Very well. I'll tell him your happy because of your new boyfriend."
She wants to tell Jack not to take it that far, not to tell Yuhi about Toh. But Yuhi already knows about Toh. She made sure of that. She slowly nodded her head and picked up the documents.
"I will read this and tell you what I think." With those words she quickly rushed off.
She needs to head back to Toh quickly. If she gets a glimpse of his face, she will surely forget. Forget that even now Yuhi is singing for her, fighting for sake. Forget that even now Terashima Yuhi is in love with her, and that her expression gives away her emotions so easily.
As Sumire increased her pace, she finds herself bumping into someone.
"Beautiful?" Toh said surprised. "I was looking for you to apologize. I'm sorry for being so sudden-" Toh paused and takes one look at her face before pulling her into his arms.
The moment he did that, Sumire felt the tears fall from her eyes. She is a liar. A dirty liar. Even though there is someone who is so good to her like this. Why do her thoughts drift to somebody else?
Why does she still love Yuhi so much, when Toh treats her so well? When Toh loves her just as much?
Why is love so painful?
*Unedited*