I can't say
I can't say
Toh sighed frustrated. This isn't the first time he has had these thoughts, and he knows it won't be the last. As his relationship with Sumire progresses, there is no doubt that he will be interacting more with the people around her. He will learn exactly who are the main causes of her deep trauma.
Now that he admits that he is in love with her. Toh isn't sure if he will keep his temper in check if he runs into the other bastards that hurt her.
Her emotional damage runs deep, and by now he has learned that a large portion of it was caused by her family. He can't do anything to them since they are gone already. They should be lucky, if they were still around. They would be his first targets.
'These thoughts are very dangerous. Ever since Lucifer took me under his wing and reunited me with my grandfather. I have played the role of Mashima Toh, a calm, gentleman, perfect member of the elite circle very well.'
But, ever since Sumire entered his life. Toh realized that he couldn't hide anything from her. The first time he truly lost his temper was when he saw Nagawa kissing her forcibly. After that, he decided not to hide anything from her anymore.
"If that's the case, for the next few days. Allow me to be your eyes and shield." Toh chose his words carefully.
He didn't want her to think that he was undermining her strength, and treating her like a sheltered Princess. Toh watched her reaction for a few minutes, before seeing her eyes brighten and laughter escaped her lips.
"Okay! I'll count on you."
His gaze softened and he pointed to the food. "Take a bite."
Sumire picked up one of the takayoki, she paused and then extended her hands out. "You first."
'That's quite bold of her.' Seeing her oblivious eyes, Toh sighed. Well, he supposes she will learn. He leaned forward and took a bite, some of the takayoki sauce started to drip onto her hands.
Toh caught the drops of sauce with his tongue, and licked inside her wrist. He continued to suck on that spot slowly, savouring the sauce and the taste of her hand.
He felt the girl's hand tremble. "Um..? Toh?" Sumire said, her breathing unsteady.
An image of Sumire with this same expression on her face as she looked at him from wrinkled bedsheets, after a night of love making flashed in his head. He is licking her tender flesh more deeply.
Recalling the sensation of the girls fingers in his mouth during one of their little experiments. Tonight, he will definitely be taking that lesson a bit further-
"Toh!" Sumire exclaimed.
Hearing her loud tone, it felt like someone had just doused him in ice water. Toh finally looks at her face, to see red stained cheeks, bright eyes, her lower lips quivering. The sight was alluring, and he felt his body heat up. Something daring to spring out of his pants. Why is this turning him on so much?
"I-I-I'm fine- t-the sauce-is-gone-" Sumire stammered. "T-that's enough."
It takes his brain a minute to process what she was talking about. Sauce? Right, the sauce. That is the reason why he was licking her hands in the first place.
"I-I will wash my hand." Sumire immediately ran away before he could even say anything.
Toh looked down at his hands, sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. "What… am I doing?"
Sumire already agreed to them doing it tonight. So, why can't he keep his hands to himself? He will truly be able to have her again soon, he only has to wait a few hours.
'I called Nagawa Sano a beast. But, perhaps the real monster is me. I am no better Sumire. When she discovers that, she will definitely leave.'
Toh wonders what is more frightening. Her leaving him or discovering that he isn't the good guy she thinks he is.
_________
SUMIRE
She eventually stopped running when she found some faucets. Sumire opened the tap and sighed deeply as she watched the water fall onto her hands. Her heart was still beating loudly, and no doubt her face was still red. This trip is more dangerous than she thought. Futaba and Asuka already talked to her about this. They told her it wouldn't be a simple trip. Futaba especially cautioned her.
'Like Asuka-chan said, I know this is overstepping boundaries. But, I truly want you to be sure Succhan. This will change your relationship.'
Even if she is clueless regarding romance. Sumire understood what those words meant.
Sumire closed her eyes and thinks about her relationship with Sano. It was fresh in her mind after having that discussion with Toh. It's true Sano caused a lot of mental damage. But, it's not his entirely his fault.
'I won't defend him like I used to, and if anybody talks badly about him. I have to agree.' But there was so many things she could have done.
For one, maybe she should have actually gotten to know him. That was her first mistake, them going out in the span of only talking to each other for a few minutes.
She was lonely, broken and a mess without Yuhi. She went to that party to drown her sorrows in alcohol. Knowing that those parties don't monitor who drinks. Knowing she would be able to get away with being a mess under the guise of being 'a clueless heiress.'
However she saw Sano there. She found someone who looked like they didn't belong there either. She saw somebody she could use, to ease the pain.
Even after she woke up next to him in the morning, instead of feeling disgusted. She kissed him again.
Her fear and tears when she told Toh about how far things went with Sano wasn't a lie. She was scared when he started to behave that way. But when she considers her behaviour from the very beginning. Perhaps she deserved to be treated like somebody's possession, rather than a human being.
'Nobody deserves that.' Sumire could hear Toh's words echo in her mind. The entire time she was explaining things to him, he was clearly struggling to keep his temper in check. Yet he listened, and made sure she was comfortable the entire time.
She could still feel the way his hands ran down her arms and her legs. He wasn't being inappropriate when he could easily have done so. He touched her to make her feel safe, to reassure her.
Nobody has ever treated her so well, so preciously and yet. 'I can't say if I am actually in love with him.'
*Unedited*