Awkwardness
Awkwardness
He belongs among the unexpected and unique individuals. Sumire knew that Toh was different from the very first day they met. But, she never understood until now why he felt different. No, she cannot guarantee that she truly understands him.
"Hi."
Toh's lips curved to a smile. "Hi, beautiful." He grabs hold of her hands. "So, shall we take a stroll? Or do you want to sit and chat?"
Sumire felt little butterflies in her stomach hearing him call her beautiful. This is not the first time he has complimented her, but something has changed.
"Then, a chat?"
Toh nodded and pulls her to sit beside him. The group of girls who had been watching them had already left. Sumire awkwardly takes a seat beside Toh. For the next few minutes only Toh spoke, he asked her questions about her day and what she did in school.
This is truly weird. Why cant she say anything to him? It's not like this is the day after she accepted his feelings. How unusual, she has never felt this emotion before.
Her thoughts break off when he intertwined a strand of her hair and brought it to his lips.
"Your beautiful." Toh repeated almost like he was in a trance.
This entire time she has been trying to remain calm, but she could no longer do so.
Toh chuckled. "You don't have to be so embarrassed. We are a couple now."
"W-ho says I am embarrassed?" Sumire tried to put on a brave face but it was futile. Her face colour which was slowly turning red betrayed her words.
"Your lovely face did just now. Is this a new shade of red? I think I might like it."
Sumire felt mortified and buried her face into her hands, but she couldn't stay like that for long since Toh pried them away.
"I won't tease you too much. From what you told me this is your second relationship, and you may have accepted my confession. But, I understand that you are not in love with me just yet."
Sumire frowned hearing the last part. "Who says I will fall in love with you?"
"I did."
Hearing his smug tone, she felt frustrated. How is he so confident that she will fall for him? Doesn't he know about her trust issues and her negative reaction towards love in general? They may have broken the trust wall a little, but she is still doubtful of others and watches his behavior very carefully.
"I think you keep forgetting that I am psychologist Sumire."
"No, I understand-"
Toh shakes his head. "The reason
Sumire paused, she knew she couldn't deny his words. A actually it was difficult for her to deny anything Toh did. Ever since their first meeting, Toh has been nothing but genuine towards her. If she does something stupid, he will not hesitate to tell her. But, he won't say it in an insulting way that would result in her feeling bad about herself.
She slowly nodded, confirming that she understood.
"So, now that we have gotten that out of the way. Will you let me kiss you?"
Sumire felt her cheeks heat up again. "Here?"
"Correct."
Those girls may have gone away and there is nobody else around right now. But, to kiss in a public space like this. Sumire looked around and she hears Toh chuckle before cupping her face.
"Relax love, I checked already. It's just us two."
"Then, okay."
'Okay?' Is she truly okay with that? Sumire shuts her eyes waiting for Toh to kiss her, but even after seconds passed she didn't feel his lips on hers. She opened her eyes and found Toh looking at her with a frown.
"Sumire, I think you have the wrong idea here."
The wrong idea?
"I said this before we started dating, but it still applies now that we are together. I will not touch you without your permission. If there is something you do not want me to do, I will not do so. You are in control here."
She blinked puzzled at his words. But aren't they dating? Isn't this what all couples do? She didn't think he would stop and ask her if she truly wanted it. She already gave him her permission, isn't that enough?
"You may have agreed but, I can tell from your tone that your reluctant. It's okay if you don't want to kiss yet. I can wait."
They have already shared a kiss, several even. During that night she accepted him. But Toh is right, she doesn't know if she is truly ready to act affectionate when she isn't emotional. The previous kisses she shared with Toh was during moments where she was emotional.
Right now, if she were to kiss him when she feels normal. Would that not mean breaking the last layer of trust? She still isn't sure if she can do this.
Toh must have taken her silence as an agreement, since he sighs and stands up saying he will get them drinks.
Sumire extended her hand out and tugged on his arm. Toh is staring at her puzzled and she kept her face down embarassed. What is she doing now? It's not like he is angry at her, he is only getting them drinks. But just now that quiet sigh bothered her and he suddenly looks troubled.
She pulls away. "R-right, I'd like something cold."
Toh is quiet for a few minutes and stares at her. Perhaps he was hoping to find an answer in her face, but not even she understood why she stopped him just now. To her surprise Toh suddenly sits back down, this time he grabs hold of her hands and tilt her head towards him. Before she knew it, she found her head resting on his shoulder.
"Alright, that's enough with the guessing games. Sumire, I truly don't want you to be uncomfortable. I want you to find comfort that you picked me even if your heart isn't truly ready yet. I want you to know that you didn't choose wrong."
Those words- Sumire briefly closed her eyes before opening them again.
"Ru told you about the other guys."
It wasn't a question, but a statement. Of course Ru told him.
"He didn't have to, I had already guessed part of it. Those guys look at you the same way I do, so it's normal that I noticed."
Sumire felt her cheeks heat up again. How many times is she going to turn red over something Toh says?
*Unedited*