Inner frustration
Inner frustration
It was like that for the next week. Everytime she woke up, there would be a note from Toh and dishes in the fridge. She would stay up late hoping to get a glimpse of him, but she would never see him. There was one day where she stayed up all night waiting but didn't see him even once. She briefly falls asleep for two hours, and wakes up to see the note and the meals.
Sumire felt very frustrated. It was almost like fate was telling her not to confess. A week ago she was still plagued with worries about responding to his confession. But now she wants nothing more than to just tell him 'yes.'
She slapped her cheeks. There is no use brooding about this now. She might as well do something more productive. Sumire picked up her guitar and quickly got ready before heading out.
Sumire didn't have a destination, she thought if she just walked around she would find a quiet place to play. But, after thinking it through she decided to head to an area where a crowd would easily gather.
It was a large park with a gorgeous view of the sea.
Falling in love with Mashima Toh. If that was even what this was—was nowhere near so simple. They had only just met a month ago, and while they have gotten very close. Sometimes Sumire thinks it is too soon and maybe she needs more time to get to know him.
However, everytime she thought this she would recall how as each day passes her behaviour towards him becomes stranger and stranger. It won't be long before Toh realises that she doesn't mind it so much when he kisses her, or hear how loud her heart beats when they sleep together.
She can't deny it anymore, and so before she is found out. She should settle it once and for all.
But, if she were to accept Toh's confession. She wonders what would happen to Ru. Ru told her his feelings not too long ago, and while he insisted that he doesn't need her to return his feelings. Sumire knew that it must hurt him seeing her in another relationship.
Moreover with his current situation with him being sick. She doesn't want to make him suffer even more.
After Ru confessed to her, something has changed. This change is something small, and seldom anybody has noticed it. The change comes from her, it's her behaviour. She becomes self-conscious of everything he says, thinking there is a hidden meaning behind everything.
She wondered how she used to act around him. She wondered how she could act normal around all those other people who confessed to her previously?
Sumire didn't know what to do about Ru, and she was worried that he would feel guilty if he notices her unusual behaviour. She was worried that Toh would realise that Ru is different.
She didn't want him to know, since it would complicate everything. It wouldn't surprise her if Toh asks her to respond to Ru first. She didn't want Ru to think that he was standing in her way of getting into another relationship.
Ru is a simple person, and while he has a high IQ. She knew thinking wasn't his strongest suit, she didn't want to be a burden to him when he is already suffering.
The more time that passed however, the more Sumire realised that she would no longer be able to avoid her growing feelings for Mashima Toh. Even if it will hurt Ru, she has to tell Toh the truth. Her gaze would subconsciously follow Toh wherever he was, and how she paid attention to everything he did.
She became even more aware of everything he did, and said. When she hears her own heart beating whenever he kisses her or hugged her, or held her hand. Sumire finally understands. Even if she cannot directly name these feelings, she cannot turn him down since that would mean lying to her heart once again.
"Glowing in the moonlight
as a sloping path extends
They're a pair of footprints
carve the way together
Basking in our love, we gaze
into each other's eyes
When you're by my side, I'm not afraid
When I'm feeling anxious and confused
When I can't decide which path to choose
All I want to do is hold your hand." Sumire sang.
"But because I love you, everything
around me fades into a gentle hue
Fills my heart with
strength enough to carry on
I've been enveloped by
your blinding radiance
I can feel the warmth you gave
to me, an eternal candlelight
Erasing hesitation now
as I take my first step." Sumire sang.
By the end of the song, she noticed how large the crowd had gotten. She had been so absorbed in singing that she didn't notice when this many people came.
"Isn't that Ibuki Sumire?"
"You're right. Let's go ask for an autograph."
Before she could get swarmed with people however, two people appeared in front of her. It was Mikaze and her childhood friend Senbi Nao. She briefly made eye contact with him, and he simply sighed before flicking her forehead.
"I will deal with you later. Masato, take her away."
Sumire turned to her left and spotted bright blue hair, who grabbed hold of her wrist and pulled her to a quiet area that was hidden by some large trees.
"It's okay for you to perform, but please tell the agency first so they can send some staff here." Masato immediately started lecturing her.
Sumire sweat fell. "I didn't think it through, I felt restless so I wanted to sing."
She could have sung in Toh's house, but she wanted to be in an open space.
"I see. If you're feeling bored then maybe you should start practicing."
"Practicing?" Sumire raised her eyebrow puzzled. "Is the president making me do another event?"
Masato shakes his head and takes some documents out of his bag that read 'Tsukuhara high school, first concur.'
Sumire blinked. A concur in the school? She has heard of these competitions being held in schools. But, the ones who hold these are music focused schools. This is very unusual. Hold on, just now Masato said to practice and then gave her this.
She got a bad feeling and confirmed it, when she flicked onto the next page.
List of Participants
1A- Senna Masato
1A- Ibuki Sumire
1A- Hamano Atushi
2S- Momoi Futaba
2S- Maon Kou
2S- Iwa Ran
3S- Ichinose Arashi
3S- Rikado Tooru
3S- Tanabe Tokiya
Her own name wasn't what shocked her, no there were two names on that list that made her stand up.
'Hamano…Hamano Atushi?'
Sumire rubbed her eyes to make sure she was reading correctly and even asked Masato to read the names out for her.
She pointed to the name. "This, this person-?"
"You wouldn't know since you haven't been to school in the past week. But he is a new student that just transferred."
*Unedited*