Genuine kindness
Genuine kindness
Toh didn't seem to notice her distress; if he did, he certainly didn't point it out. "You are wearing too little. Didn't I tell you to put on a hat at least this morning?"
"Um, sorry, I forgot."
He grabbed hold of her hands and started to rub them to warm her hands. The entire time she felt both Masaru and Masato's piercing gaze.
"Um, Masato, say something already." Sumire felt Masato's gaze was the darkest.
"No need, just now I sent a message to Nao-san," Masato said coldly.
At those words, her face colour turns pale. One of the main reasons why she kept it a secret was because of her childhood friend Senbi Nao. The others won't be happy about it, but the one who will be the most displeased is Nao.
"Geh."
Masaru chuckled. "This is what you get for keeping secrets, lady." He trails off. "I certainly told you to contact Mashima Toh to help you because I cannot due to my injuries. However, I didn't think you would get this close."
Sumire wanted to protest. He definitely knew this would happen! This liar.
Masato looked like he was going to pass out. "So, let me get this right when you said that you were staying over at someone else's home. You meant a man? Moreover, somebody you just met not too long ago." He said accusingly.
"Um, it just turned out this way," Sumire admitted.
Truthfully, she doesn't understand how it ended up like this. Yes, she did stay over at Toh's place briefly before. But Sumire didn't think she would end up going back there and end up staying this long.
Toh suddenly squeezed her hands. "If you are concerned about her welfare, then you can return with us and see for yourself. It is better to see with your own eyes than to blindly judge."
Oh, is he trying to help her out? Her gaze softened. Toh is very clumsy at showing his kindness. It's not that he isn't kind because he is. But he seems surprised every time she calls him kind or whenever he displays any emotion.
In the end, Masato and Masaru joined them in the car. Sumire wanted to sit with Toh at the front like usual, but the other two dragged her to the back seat and made her sit between them. The entire journey felt very suffocating to her. She tried to close her eyes to get some sleep. But it was difficult to do so.
She truly didn't want to keep this a secret from them. However, she was worried that they would judge her. She was afraid that they'd call her a loose woman.
'Initially, I didn't intend to get this close with Toh. However, the more time I spent with him. The more I realized how kind he was. I can't push away genuinely kind people.'
He has been so good to her and so patient. Her nightmares and breakdowns happened quite frequently during the beginning of her stay. But not only did he not get annoyed with her, but he would also patiently wait until she calmed down. He doesn't waste any words and doesn't bother with false comfort.
He tells her directly what he thinks and respects her choices. How can she possibly push him away?
….
When they reached the house, Sumire kept jumping, thinking Nao would appear at any moment. But, thankfully, there were no signs of him just yet. He must be in the middle of a job right now. Thank goodness she already has to deal with the current situation. Presently she sat opposite Masaru and Masato, who were sitting on the other sofa.
Toh had walked back from the kitchen with a cup of hot chocolate for her, and he took her hand again almost and occasionally squeezed it. He must be trying to calm her down. She looks towards her two friends.
She has to tell them the truth.
Or rather, no other excuse would work right now. There is no other way to explain why she has been staying in some random guy's home. To her, Toh wasn't just a random guy anymore. But she certainly hasn't known him long enough for her friends to know him too.
She has to explain everything, but the truth includes her suicide attempt. Her friends know of her previous attempts but don't know how bad it truly is.
Sumire tried to explain, but she just couldn't get the words out. In the end, Toh explained it to her. The other two's expressions went from shocked to concern.
"Lady," Masaru speaks up. "I am aware that it's difficult for you to talk to us about this. But I think you are carrying too much of a burden on your own. Please learn to share that burden with those who truly care for you."
"I'm sorry, I just- you ended up hurt. No, both of you ended up hurt not too long ago because of me."
The scar on Masato's face had yet to vanish, and she knew underneath all of Masaru's thick garments were horrendous wounds.
"I thought if I told you both, I'd be burdening you even more. I did think to talk to you both about this. Even if I just end up telling one of you, I couldn't do it. I have already caused you both enough problems."
Her sentence fell short when Masato patted her hair. He was looking at her with a gentle smile on his face. "You're not causing any problems for us. Please do not think of yourself as a burden. Do you not remember what we told you on graduation day?"
What they said- "'Without you, there would be no nanairofeather. You are more important to us than you think. Without you, we would be nothing?" Sumire repeated the words.
Masato nodded. "Yes. We may have gotten more famous now, and we may be able to write our own songs. But it wouldn't be the same without you. It wouldn't be complete without you by our side. So, please do not think you are a burden. You are-"
"-the sun in our lives." Masaru finished.
Masato glares at Masaru. "Do you truly have to interrupt?"
"If I let you finish, it would certainly be dull."
"You don't know that."
"I think I do."
Sumire finds herself laughing as she watches the two bicker. The remaining uneasiness she felt seemed to vanish. At first, she was focused on getting better again, but as time passed, Sumire felt guilty about hiding it from her friends, who had worried about her. Then she slowly became afraid that they would judge or look at her differently.
Those thoughts were truly stupid. If they wanted to judge her for her suicide attempts, then they would have done so before. But, instead, they have remained with her. She is truly surrounded by kind people, and she is lucky enough to meet another gentle soul -Mashima Toh.