She needs somebody
She needs somebody
"You are not like this normally?" Sumire repeated, surprised.
"Hmm, my patients usually say I am too good at my job to the point that they cannot detect my own emotions. Normally I subconsciously hurt the ones who are important to me. That's why when I noticed I was treating you differently, I hesitated at first. But, I do believe that change is part of a natural process of mine. I cannot control my feelings toward you. I enjoy conversing with you."
After hearing that, Sumire remained frozen. She felt a tint of pink appear on her cheeks. H-he-is acting so strange. She has never seen him like this before.
"I like you, Sumire."
Eh? Eh?! Wait, was that a confession? Didn't he just say not too long ago that she was only 'interesting?' Why did he suddenly confess?
"Keeping your mouth wide open is hardly ladylike. But why are you surprised? I told you I was interested in you."
"Yes, but interest and like are two completely different things. Moreover, we have not known each other for long."
"Do we have to know each other for a long time to have feelings for each other? If that's what you want, w should meet more often. No matter how many times you push me away, I will not leave you. This is just the beginning."
"Y-you sound so arrogant, but if I actually fell in love with you, what would you do?"
Subconsciously she understands. No matter how afraid of people she is. Humans cannot survive without another person. It is the same for her. Toh, if Toh continues to behave so kindly, she may end up accepting him. But she will only accept him because he is kind, not because she harbors any feelings for him.
However, if they continue to spend time together like this, one day, she may fall for him.
"When that happens, you have to tell me immediately. I do not want to be hearing this from anybody else."
"But, it's troublesome being liked me. I end up being too clingy and end up too attached-"
Toh's lips curve to a smile. "That doesn't sound like a problem to me."
Yuhi, what is she supposed to do if she falls for this person? No, she has to hold on until she meets Yuhi again. Until they can speak to each other with no restrictions, she won't let her heart sway.
"W-weren't we supposed to be watching a movie? Let's watch it already."
Toh nodded and switched on the TV. The title screen shows the words 'soulmate.' Oh, she knows this one.
"You watch romance movies?"
"Hm? I can watch anything."
"I see. You know, when I first watched this movie, I was envious of the protagonist. She is so kind, pure, and the complete opposite of me. Watching movies like this reminds me of how rotten I am. It's painful. No matter how much I try, I know I can never be like a normal girl." Sumire trailed off. "I told you, didn't I? That there is someone I loved. Every time I think of him, it's painful. Even if I want to forget, I know it's not possible. I will never forget it. But I still didn't think I deserved to be with him."
She wanted to see him so badly and yet maintained her distance.
"I missed him so much that I ended up dreaming about him every day. In my dreams, everything was good between us. We confessed to each other, ended up dating. I was content and felt happy. There was nothing restricting us. But reality is different, even if I acted selfish and he came to me. Neither of us would be happy."
Sumire buried her face in her arms. She could no longer hold back her tears and all the emotions she felt. This entire time she could never tell anyone and simply kept it to herself. She felt Toh's hand on her head.
"I didn't want to let anybody know. I was afraid if I said it, they would tell Yuhi. But it's painful keeping this to myself. It hurts too much." Sumire trailed off. "After hearing this, please take back what you said about liking me-"
"I won't do that, or rather, it's enough, Sumire. It's already enough. Forgive yourself. If you can't do it, then I will. I will forgive you."
___
Monday 23rd.
Sumire ended up falling asleep on his lap, and when he woke up the next morning and didn't find her, he wasn't surprised. Toh glanced around the room. It seems like she didn't take her belongings with her, so she didn't go home. Knowing her, she ran away because she is too embarrassed to face him after crying so much. It was like that during her first few days here. At least he knows she will return.
'A shower, and I will see how the rest of the preparations for the show are going.'
Toh stands up and walks over to the kitchen to make a cup of coffee when he sees something wrapped in foil on the table.
I-I'm going to school.
I will be back later.
I made breakfast. You can throw it if it doesn't taste good.
Sumire.
He blinks for a few minutes before his lips curve to a smile.
But school, huh? Toh walked over to his laptop and pulled out a few graphs. It was his analysis of her mental health condition. He has been monitoring her for a while now. It is still too soon for her to be going to school. Even if she feels better after that talk they had yesterday, her condition isn't stable. He should head there after he deals with some work to check on her.
Truthfully, he doesn't understand why people dislike her. She looks like the type of girl that normally people would fawn over and call her cute. But the first time they met, she was on the run after hurting someone. It wasn't the most romantic situation.
These next few meetings weren't the best either. But every single time they spoke, he would see that lonely look in her eyes. Is that the reason why he couldn't leave her alone?
'It just felt like she needed somebody.'
That was the main reason. When he looked at her, he felt like there was nobody she could open herself up to. Even though, from what he hears from Tsueno Mamoru, she has many friends. He wanted to be the person she opened her heart to.