I'm here
I'm here
Tsueno Mamoru does not understand everything about her. But he does not have to. In this world, she trusts him more than anybody else.
In this world filled with betrayals, anguish, and pain Tsueno Mamoru is like a breath of fresh air. He is different from that person, but she does not dislike him.
She wonders why he is always happy and smiling so much.
"It reminds me of the important things in life, like who I love."
Who does he love? Huh? For some reason, she feels strange. Is he talking about romantic love- does Ru have a girl he likes? She has never once thought of it. After all, Ru always spent his free time with her, and he seldom interacted with girls.
No, the only girls he speaks to are her friends. 'But just now, when he said that- wait, why am I getting distracted?'
"I'll thank the president later." Sumire trailed off. "But when did you start getting along with him?"
Mamoru grinned. "Of course, I have to make sure he is safe."
Sumire sighed. "What are you talking about? He is twenty-five. He won't make a move on a young girl."
"Ki, the age difference is only ten years; anything could happen. Besides, recently you went out with a guy six years older-" Mamoru stopped mid-sentence after saying that. "Sorry."
At those words, she laughed weakly. "It's okay; besides, it's not like you didn't try to warn me about him."
Her last boyfriend, Nagawa Sano, they met at a formal gathering and ended up dating on the same day? It was very strange, but that's how it ended up.
"Ki he wasn't that bad. I mean, he did treat you well, and I only warned you when he started to act weird. I didn't hate the guy."
"Mm I understand. Ru, you were the most understanding."
"Ki, have you tried talking to him?"
Sumire shook her head and took out her phone as she showed Mamoru her message history. "He has tried to call me a few times, but I have not answered." She looked over at him and saw an odd expression on his face. "Wait, don't tell me that he has been contacting you?"
"Just a little."
Then why is he fidgeting so nervously?
"Ru give me your phone."
Mamoru tried to persuade her out of it, but he resigned and passed her his phone. She immediately opened up the message history and saw a rather long exchange with her ex.
"Ru!" She felt livid and betrayed. How could he do this behind her back?
All the messages contained asked her about her well-being, and Ru even sent occasional photos of her.
"Ki, you should hear him out."
"He cheated on me!" Sumire exclaimed. "What kind of excuse does he have?"
"Wasn't he doing that way before you broke up? Why did you suddenly give up on him?"
Sumire averted her gaze at those words and looked down at the ground. Mamoru patted her shoulders.
"I understand that you probably don't want to see him for now. I have told him this, and this is why he has held back. But after a few months, give it a try, okay? You still have to fetch your belongings and stuff too."
"If you say so, Ru," Sumire mumbled.
But what else does she have left to say to him? The day they broke up, she said what she had to, and she is positive the same went for him. Even though she cried and broke down, he did not turn back once to look at her.
Since their break up, she would occasionally think back to that day for the past month. Every time she heard anybody shout or raise their voice, her vision would go blurry, her heart would pound rapidly, and her breathing would become unsteady.
It was the same feeling whenever she got onto the stage.
She would tremble uncontrollably.
Her thoughts broke off when she felt a familiar warmth in her hand and realized that Mamoru was holding her hand.
"Take a deep breath."
"Ru."
"It's fine, alright? I'm here."
She wonders how many times he has done this. Every single time she would have a breakdown on stage, he would show up without fail. Well, aside from the recent one, normally, he accompanies her to those jobs. His attendance record is quite impressive.
On the days when he could not make it, he would visit her at home. Her gaze softened. Because of Ru, she can get back up on her feet even after she has a bad mental breakdown.
Sumire looked at their intertwined hands. "How long are you going to hold my hand for?"
Mamoru frantically moved his hands away; his cheeks burned red. "Uh I didn't mean to-"
Sumire laughed at his reaction. "You can hold it all you want on the way home. I think I sprained my ankle earlier."
"A sprain?" Mamoru looked alarmed.
"I already got it checked out before the recording started, so it should be fine now. But just in case, I should walk with someone, right?"
"You can leave that to me!"
Where does he get all his energy from? It is a real mystery to her.
"But even though you are clumsy, Ki, it's not like you to just trip before your job-" Mamoru trailed off. "Wait a second, did someone attack you again?"
Sumire scanned his expression and sighed. There is no hiding anything from him. However, she cannot tell him the truth.
'I can't say I walked over and stopped the fight myself-'
"It was just a small skirmish. I don't think they belonged to a group because they were surprised when I fought back." Sumire trailed off. "Lately, there are rumors about my debut; somebody might be hostile towards me debuting."
This is not something new; cases like this happen all the time. There are rival companies who would do anything to bring down their opponent. Moreover, those rumors about her having an angelic singing voice make it worse.
It's not the truth, but Mamoru won't pry her for details. That is right; this person will not do anything that makes her uncomfortable. He is one of the rare few who knew about her past suicide attempts and self-harm. But he does not judge or criticize her.
A person who can truly accept that exists? She was skeptical at first. But Ru's behavior towards her never changed, no, he treated her even more gently and with more affection.
Is it pity? No, his eyes- whenever she looked at his eyes, it is filled with honesty.