She wants to be a man
She wants to be a man
"Open your mouth."
"Huh?" She raised her brows but still opened her mouth on instinct. Before she could react, Abel shoved something into her mouth.
"What..." Aries trailed off when the bitter taste was replaced by something sweet, melting into her mouth.
"I told them to bring candy since you kept whining about its bitter taste." Abel shrugged nonchalantly. "Happy?"
The corner of her lips stretched into a smile, nodding as a response. "Better."
"Good."
Abel rocked his head lightly, hands on his crossed legs. Aries was leaning against the headboard while Abel was sitting up on the same bed, facing her squarely.
"Now, you go back to sleep." He assisted her to lie down, tucking her in carefully.
"Will you leave?" she asked until the blanket covered her lips.
"Do you want me to?" Aries shook her head on instinct and a smirk appeared on his lips. "Then I'll stay."
"How about your official duties?"
"Conan will cover for me."
"Is that fine?"
"Obviously? Yesterday was his idea. Hence, now you're in this state. He is more than happy to play as the emperor for a day than receive a different punishment," he explained indifferently. "Now, sleep."
Aries shrunk down with her eyes on his face. Looking at him now, Abel didn't look that scary. Actually, he looked a bit more normal than usual. He just had to refrain from talking too much, since it ruined his almost perfect image.
She stared at him in silence until the medicine effect kicked in, making her eyelids droop. There was no exchange of words as she blinked weakly, eyes still on him until she succumbed to the darkness. As she did, Abel could not help but chuckle shortly.
"Why would you look at me like that before you sleep?" he wondered, brushing a few strands of her hair away from her forehead. "You make me wish you don't recover fast."
A glint flickered across his naturally sharp eyes. He couldn't remember the last time he felt this sort of peace. Abel was the person who wouldn't stop doing something or he would go mad. But slowly, he was starting to like staying idle with her company.
A rest he never thought he needed. That was what Aries was to him. With her, all the crazy thoughts and strong violent urges magically disappeared without a trace.
"You are my calm, Aries..." he whispered, pressing a finger on her forehead. "... but alas, I don't need such calm in my life."
Abel caressed her cheek with his thumb, eyes etching her facial structure deep in his head. One day, she would leave. He would make sure she would leave next time before she figure out more about him and this empire. Because if she knew about him... Abel wouldn't have any reason to stop himself from doing whatever he wanted.
If she looked at him with disgust as if looking at a monster... he didn't want to think about that now. Only the worst would befall Aries. So he wanted to preserve his image in her eyes; she may not look at him with affection and gentleness. At the very least, she wasn't looking at him with utter disdain.
"Run before that happens, my little darling." He slid down his finger from her forehead down the bridge of her nose to the tip. "Although you may not perish, you will die while you're still alive."
****
Hours had gone by and Aries woke up once again around nightfall. Unlike this morning, she didn't have even the slightest headache, and she felt a lot better; thanks to the medicine.
As soon as her mind started working, she turned her head to the side, only to see it empty. Abel wasn't there anymore.
"He said he will stay," she muttered, letting out a deep sigh. Aries faced the ceiling, blinking ever so slowly, leaving her mind blank. 'I think since I've been spending too much time with him, I am getting used to his presence.'
Not that this was a good realization, but it also wasn't bad. If anything, Aries felt a little conflicted. Was she getting close to him? Or was it just her imagination? But what was for sure was that she didn't have to mind her words or actions around Abel; unless she knew her words would step out of her bounds.
In other words, she could act like Conan. Someone who also feared Abel, but not at the same time.
'Should I forgive Sir Conan now?' she wondered, thinking that Abel told her he covered for him. 'That means Abel worked him to the bone, right?'
She wasn't so heartless to not have a conscience. It was not like their date yesterday was entirely bad. Actually, that was her first time going outside after a long time. When the Rikhill fell from its grace, the crown prince of the Maganti Empire held Aries captive.
Ever since then, she wouldn't go out to have fun. But yesterday was something she didn't expect. Although she fell ill as a result, she had fun overall.
"I'm hungry," she murmured, eyes still on the ceiling. Aries flinched and her heart nearly left her ribcage when she heard Abel's voice from the other side of the room.
"I can give you an appetizer if you're hungry." Aries slowly turned her head to the side — the opposite side of where Abel usually lie down — horror plastered across her face. "I can offer my body while they prepare the food."
Abel stopped beside the bed from the shelf. When Aries woke up, he was putting back the book on its shelf.
"Have you been there all along?" she gasped, reviewing all the things she said aloud, thinking he already left.
"Mhm. I promised to stay, didn't I?" he shrugged and smirked playfully, sitting down on the edge of the mattress. "I was about to speak, but then I heard your disappointment when you thought I left. It made me want to listen more."
"..." Aries bit her tongue, promising to herself she would never, ever speak her inner dialogues aloud. But her thoughts changed as she furrowed her brows, seeing him slowly remove the button of his trousers.
"What are you doing?" she asked, watching him pause and gaze at her cluelessly.
"You said you're hungry. Just eat me." he cocked his head to the side, dead serious on 'feeding' her. "I'm the best appetizer, main course, and dessert you will ever have! Should I present myself on a silver platter?"
Her breath hitched as listened to his offer. She didn't reply anymore as she rolled to her side, back facing him.
"Eat yourself," she murmured, frowning when she felt him behind her. "Abel, I want to become a man."
"Hmm? That's so random." Abel wrapped his arm around her waist. "Then, be a man."
"Can I?" this time, she fearlessly rolled around to face him. "I'm serious."
"Mhm. Shall we change your wardrobe?"
She wasn't entirely joking, but so was he. She scrutinized the man who laid down beside her, wondering if being a man would change his perspective.
"No. But I want to try to test if my gender is the problem." She told him honestly. As usual, he grinned playfully and cheered on her.
"Then, good luck with that."